


Never Alone

by i_am_still_bb



Series: Gathering FiKi - WinterFRE 2020 [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22624936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_still_bb/pseuds/i_am_still_bb
Summary: Fili is none too thrilled about the news that he will soon have a younger sibling.--Prompt 171: "From lonely to never alone"
Relationships: Fíli & Kíli (Tolkien)
Series: Gathering FiKi - WinterFRE 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1600333
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28
Collections: GatheringFiKi - Winter FRE 2020





	Never Alone

Fili is seven years old when his mother and her husband sit him down at the dinner table and tell him that they want to talk to him about something important. They stand; towering over his slender, perpetually scab kneed body with its sticky-outy ears and hair that never lays flat.

“Am I in trouble?” he asks seriously. 

His mother laughs and Ian’s eyes twinkle. Fili feels distinctly excluded from the joke. He scowls as his mood sours. He picks at one of the mosquito bites on his arm. 

His mother drops to her knees in front of him and takes his hands in her own - as much to keep him from scratching at bug bites as anything else - before she speaks. “You’re not in trouble, dear heart. It’s good news.”

Fili glances from his mother to Ian and back again. He is not so sure that he trusts their assessment of “good news,” but his mother’s smile is bright.

“We’re having a baby. You’re going to have a baby brother or baby sister.” As she says this she looks at Ian and they share a private look of joy that Fili resents. There are plenty of days when he is still not sure that he likes Ian.

“Why.” Fili says. It is a question, but not a question at the same time.

Whatever response they were expecting, this was not it.

Dis looks back at Ian who shrugs as if to say, “I don’t know how to answer that one. Not my kid.” At that point he disappears through the doorway into the den so that Dis can talk to Fili alone.

“Don’t you want a little brother or sister?” she asks.

The tense fear in her voice tempers Fili’s response. He shrugs instead of violently shaking his head.

He stands, “Can I go back to reading my comic book?” He does not wait for an answer; he is already halfway to the door before Dis can collect herself.

Dis looks flustered. “I suppose, but …”

Fili turns and waits.

“I’ll answer any questions that you have,” she finishes lamely.

The screen door slamming shut behind Fili is the only response she gets.

* * *

One morning when snow has wrapped their small home in its silence Fili stumbles down the stairs—his ankles poking out of his pajama bottoms—to find his mother and Ian sitting at the table and peering at a small black and white picture. 

Fili gets himself some instant oatmeal. He slams every cupboard. His mother hates that. But today she does not look up. She does not chastize him. 

He sits down and scowls while shoveling hot oatmeal into his mouth. He wonders if he can get away without having to learn whatever thing about the new baby that they are tittering about. 

No such luck.

“You’re going to have a little brother, Fili! How about that?” Dis beams.

Fili ignores her and continues eating his oatmeal. He wants to say something smart in response, but he has been learning that he does not need to say everything that pops into his head. So he says nothing about how another baby is pointless if it is a boy. They already have a boy. His mother has him; another one is just excessive, in his opinion.

“You’ll have someone to play with all the time once he gets bigger.”

Fili shrugs before dumping his bowl in the sink and taking the creaking stairs back to his bedroom.

Fili  _ likes _ being alone. He does not like the games that the other boys play. He much prefers reading or drawing in the classroom during recess. The thought of having to interrupt or share his time is terrifying. He likes the quiet. And he certainly does not want a baby to ruin it.

* * *

Several months later he has still not warmed to the idea of another child. He makes an effort to do more things that she likes—like cuddling on the couch without squirming away after a few seconds—and tries harder in school, thinking that maybe he can stop this thing from happening. 

It happens anyway.

And a squawking, pink bundle invades his life. 

Fili is not impressed. His mother and Ian spend hours cooing over the bundle that they have named Killian, after Ian’s grandfather, but all Fili sees is something that cries, eats, shits—a new word that his friends use and his mother yells at him when he uses it—and does nothing exciting whatsoever.

Kili, as they take to calling the pink blob, never fails to impress Ian and Dis.

One warm Sunday afternoon when Fili figured he should give the blob another chance Kili clutches at Fili’s finger and tries to put it in his mouth. Fili feels like his finger is turning blue.

His mother shouts for Ian to find the camera so they can take a picture.

Fili lay awake that night staring at the ceiling—Kili was crying down the hall and keeping everyone awake—and wishing that they had just gotten a dog instead.

* * *

Too soon for Fili’s taste the pink blob starts walking. When he picks up Fili’s things Fili snatches them away quickly, something that often results in fat tears.

Kili also takes to following Fili, much to Fili’s annoyance. Fili walks faster.

The places in the house where he can be along shrinks until he can only be alone in his bedroom with the door shut.

* * *

On one rainy afternoon Fili is curled up in the overstuffed chair with a book resting on his knees. 

Kili toddles across the living room where he had been playing with blocks and looks up at Fili with his large, brown eyes. 

Fili looks at his little brother and quickly looks away again. His nose crinkles in annoyance.

Kili grabs for the book. 

“No,” Fili grumbles and shifts so that the book is out of his little brother’s reach.

Kili grunts in frustration and tries to climb on to the chair. His feet make soft padding noises as he tries to lift his leg high enough. 

“Feewee.”

Fili stares at his little brother. His blue eyes widening. 

* * *

Not long after that Fili finds himself experiencing a swelling feeling in his chest whenever Kili follows him. Or when he notices that Kili will only take a bite of food when Fili does. Things that used to send a flash of annoyance through Fili now result in this odd feeling that he cannot identify.

* * *

Kili is two when he figures out how to climb out of his crib. He would grab the top and get one leg over before tumbling to the floor. He never could get back into the crib on his own though. 

One of the first times that it happened Fili woke up to his mother’s panicked shouts. She could not find Kili. He was not in his crib.

When Fili got up to help look for Kili he very nearly trod on his sleeping brother who was curled up on the floor with his stuffed bear in his arms and his thumb in his mouth.

This quickly became a common occurrence. Sometime he would wake Fili so that Fili would help him into the twin sized bed. Eventually Fili moved a stool to the edge of his bed so that Kili could join him without waking him. 

After a few years Kili starts sleeping in his own bed most nights. But Fili finds that he no longer wants to be alone. And now it is he that is padding down the upstairs hall at night after everyone else has fallen asleep.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I may have goofed. I remembered the prompt as being "from alone to never alone." Oops. We don't have to trust Fili's insistence that he likes being alone.


End file.
